When the levee breaks

Rain settles the heat,
But what good is it, when the earth beneath you feels like fire?
The flames spread. 

It’s excruciating, you have no choice but to face it. 

You’ll smile for the world.

People say “everything will be fine”. 

But it won’t. You hide the tears. You dress up. 

What good is to look beautiful, when your eyes burn?
What good is a perfume, when you reek of pain?
Still breathing!

No matter how large the crowd,
Amidst all the fun, you feel a pit in your stomach.
No matter how loud the music is,
Your heart yearns for a glimpse,
Someone that makes you feel home.
You detach, an art

Over a period of time, you learn to revel in agony,
A state of trance - the rhythm you dance to. 

You hear a cry, that of your soul;

Then, a complete silence. 

This time, you hear the crack, there's no return

A wounded soul, wearing a beautiful shroud,
Blessed with a smile...even when the levee breaks! 

Always...

A moment with you, a drop of sweetest wine.

Thoughts of you, the coolness of a breeze.

Your touch, the warmth of a bright day.

Your voice, a rush beyond words.

Your presence in a crowded room

Though hardly together,

In those moments I lived.

You were my every dream come true

Held your hand, promised I won’t let go.

Happiness I found in loving you,

How? You were never mine to begin with. 

Hoping someday you’d...

So I did smile,

Because you are my pain, I bear.

Time and distance din’t matter,

I fell in love with you everyday.

Amidst the chaos, you dint hear me say

I’m here to stay.

You din’t see my eyes

How much you meant to me.

I was there, never left your sight

But not good enough, unnoticed.

I knew you weren’t proud to have me

I knew it all, fell apart,
But for you, I did smile,

Because you are my pain, I bear. 

Your heart, I felt its pain, taunted

Your mind, tainted by memories.

Even when we talked about “us”, 

You had your doubts and fears. 

I knew I won’t be a part of yours

But I felt the world under your arms.

Missing you, a constant torment, 

Excruciating, but keeps me alive and sane.

I tried all possible ways to be immune

This love, it doesn’t set me free.

Tears ran dry, learnt to smile,

Because your are my pain, I bear. 

Not your body but your soul, 

Felt it, loved every inch.

You were everything I had

My man, my love and my art.

Write verses, paint memories of you

This wound of mine, it doesn’t heal. 

A hole plunged through the heart

With a mind torn apart, eviscerated.

Becoming soulless, fading away

Eventually a memory, until then....

Always, smiling

Because you are my pain, I bear.