When the levee breaks

Rain settles the heat,
But what good is it, when the earth beneath you feels like fire?
The flames spread. 

It’s excruciating, you have no choice but to face it. 

You’ll smile for the world.

People say “everything will be fine”. 

But it won’t. You hide the tears. You dress up. 

What good is to look beautiful, when your eyes burn?
What good is a perfume, when you reek of pain?
Still breathing!

No matter how large the crowd,
Amidst all the fun, you feel a pit in your stomach.
No matter how loud the music is,
Your heart yearns for a glimpse,
Someone that makes you feel home.
You detach, an art

Over a period of time, you learn to revel in agony,
A state of trance - the rhythm you dance to. 

You hear a cry, that of your soul;

Then, a complete silence. 

This time, you hear the crack, there's no return

A wounded soul, wearing a beautiful shroud,
Blessed with a smile...even when the levee breaks! 

Always...

A moment with you, a drop of sweetest wine.

Thoughts of you, the coolness of a breeze.

Your touch, the warmth of a bright day.

Your voice, a rush beyond words.

Your presence in a crowded room

Though hardly together,

In those moments I lived.

You were my every dream come true

Held your hand, promised I won’t let go.

Happiness I found in loving you,

How? You were never mine to begin with. 

Hoping someday you’d...

So I did smile,

Because you are my pain, I bear.

Time and distance din’t matter,

I fell in love with you everyday.

Amidst the chaos, you dint hear me say

I’m here to stay.

You din’t see my eyes

How much you meant to me.

I was there, never left your sight

But not good enough, unnoticed.

I knew you weren’t proud to have me

I knew it all, fell apart,
But for you, I did smile,

Because you are my pain, I bear. 

Your heart, I felt its pain, taunted

Your mind, tainted by memories.

Even when we talked about “us”, 

You had your doubts and fears. 

I knew I won’t be a part of yours

But I felt the world under your arms.

Missing you, a constant torment, 

Excruciating, but keeps me alive and sane.

I tried all possible ways to be immune

This love, it doesn’t set me free.

Tears ran dry, learnt to smile,

Because your are my pain, I bear. 

Not your body but your soul, 

Felt it, loved every inch.

You were everything I had

My man, my love and my art.

Write verses, paint memories of you

This wound of mine, it doesn’t heal. 

A hole plunged through the heart

With a mind torn apart, eviscerated.

Becoming soulless, fading away

Eventually a memory, until then....

Always, smiling

Because you are my pain, I bear. 

Aug 24, 2018 - This Day, I Smile!

A wandering soul, shattered heart,

Searching for those pieces, 

I met you, saw you smile.

Love is what you were looking for, 

Those pieces I had, gave it all.

I knew you weren’t happy,

Asked me to set you free.

I did, with what’s left of me,

Saw you walk away, I did smile

Because you are my pain, I bear.

Living in your memories

With a hope floating in darkness.

Your voice it echoes even in silence,

No tears, no heartbeat, just emptiness. 

With a prayer,

May all the stars keeps you safe.

May all your dreams come true.

Live each moment, be happy

And in your happiness, I smile

Because you are my pain, I bear.

The Wandering Soul

You live in a world of unlimited choices, what exists today may not be there tomorrow.
People will underestimate your expressions, emotions, your kindness, or the way you care.
They could perceive you wrong, take you for granted.
They'll control you, judge you, manipulate you, strip you down, betray and leave you in the dark.
Taunting words, broken promises, death of a loved one, all could emotionally destroy you.

You’ll fall, bleed to death.
You'll pick up what’s left of you, and continue walking.
You are taught not to break a heart, even those who can’t handle yours.
You let go, pray for those who hurt you the most, for their happiness, they deserve better.
Your age, body, skin, choices will change.
Your scars will remain, you’ll have more wounds, and your life...will change with time. 

What matters is...

You’ve known pain like your own shadow.
You are born with a loving heart.
You’ve known to love, genuine and unconditional.
But, you don’t need a coward who’ll awaken your love but can never love you.

What matters is...

You are built in fire.
You are born for a reason, and you’ve found yourself.
You are determined.
You are still standing even after the worse storm, that too with a smile.
And that makes you strong, brave - a true survivor. 

In God's Witness

I wander lost, see you in my dreams
I lie awake, still thinking
What could’ve been if you were here with me?
May it be fate, or a change of heart
You’re gone, I’m all alone.
Does God tell you how I keep myself alive?
Do you see me close my eyes,
Breathe in your memories?
Do you hear me cry?
With a heartache that kills me?
Can you feel me reach out to the stars?
Hoping if I could see you one last time.


In God’s witness, I promise,
A vow for a lifetime and many more...
If I live again, I’ll find you.
I’ll protect you, fight your wars,
Be your hope, the way you are mine.
But...will you remember me
If I call out your name?
Will you hold me close
Feel my heart?
Will you believe if I say “I love you”
More than you’ll ever know.
I may not be your first,
But I hope to be the last you loved.

Mist

When I see you, I forget all the pain

Feel alive once again.

I wonder how does it feel to touch you,

Or hold you close?

I am just a human, having a heart

That envies those

Who gets to see you every day,

The way you smile with love,

The way you hug, arms wide spread.

I know, you are just a dream

You'll only last for a moment,

But...it's worth a wait

For a lifetime.

"Mist"

Watercolor on paper (24x22)

Brahmakamalam

Brahmakamalam
Acrylics on wood (16x24)

Oh Moon!!! My true love,
You wait for an year for me to bloom, 

You caress me, I smile... 
And the Wind spreads our fragrance of love.

Dawn slowly breaks in, so does the agony!
... I kiss you goodbye, and your wait continues....

Our love, even though only for few hour- a beautiful harmony.